The end of a season, the beginning of a season.

It's been almost a year and a half since I last posted. I think this is because I felt like I was done with the MJ season of my life, and I thought it would be better to start a whole new blog for what was next. The only problem was that I couldn't ever decide whether I was going to continue on that blog or start a new one, so I just didn't do either. (After all, the blog is called Mexico and Beyond) Then, when I decided to go back to Mexico, I felt like it would be wrong to add to the end of one season of Mexico, but anyway, hear it goes...

I would definitely say that this has been the biggest year of growth for my life. Now that I think about it, I would hope that every year I would be able to say the same. This year has been filled with many new and wonderful friendships, activities, trips, hardships, challenges, joys, heartaches, deaths, hopes, and dreams.

I am thankful that God in His incredible grace allowed me to return to Mexico this summer. I got on the plane to leave for Mexico with a lot of questions and no answers. I returned with several answers, and a whole lot more questions. This was one of the best summers of my life where I met some of my best friends, and my family grew once more. My heart is full when I think of those people. This week 3 of my Mexico Journey family members called me and updated me on their lives, and called to ask about mine. I know that I haven't gone to Mexico for the last time, and yet, I wonder if I will return this year or if it will be in the distant future.

I am home for Thanksgiving break, and preparing to move home in about 3 weeks. I will be student teaching next semester and graduating from college in May. It is so hard to believe that I am basically done with a season in Lincoln...maybe just for now...maybe forever. Every Sunday at Middlecross, I realize that I only have a limited time left there, and my heart aches. It aches every time I think of my family in Neihardt: the amazing RAs and residents who have become my family.

I am starting to realize that there just isn't enough time to catch up with all the people that mean so much to me before I leave. You see, there is a monster that dwells between now and December 20. That monster loves to take up as much of my time and energy as it can, and it is only going to get worse before it is remedied the day before I move home. The monster's name is called School. I love the learning, but I have a hard time when I realize how much time is poured into it that could be poured into people. It drives me crazy if I don't think about it as an investment toward all the people I will be able to spend time with and pour into because of my training as a teacher.

On the other hand, when I think about the opportunity to have another 5 month season in Norfolk, the place I love so much because the people I love so much are here, my heart is full and giddy. I really sense that this is the place to be when I am on the verge of beginning my life as a non-student. Although I love learning and will never stop learning, I will no longer be in school in the role of the student. Norfolk is the place for me to be while I pray and ask the Lord to continue to give me a clearer dream of what my purpose is for Him on this earth. It just makes sense that home is where I have to be to remember and be reminded of the bigger-than-life dreams I once had before I got so distracted by the task of getting a 4-year degree. *Note: I do realize that getting my Bachelor's Degree is something that I needed to do. And the past 4 years have played a huge role in who I am, and have been a much needed season of preparation for the future.*

I have ideas of what I want to do come May, but after reading Jesse and Michel Davy's blog again today, I find myself asking if those ideas and dreams are big enough. So now I am re-evaluating everything. I want to hear the Lord speak to me the mission He has set before me. I look forward to hearing those who know me speak back to me what they see as the strengths He has given me. Not in order to puff up my pride, but in order to develop those strengths and to dream of what could be done for His Kingdom when a 22-year-old girl who focused on using those specific strengths throws herself into developing them as much as she can with a specific end goal in mind.

I thank God that these are the things He puts on my mind and heart to ponder as I look toward the future and what I will do, not just what position I could take to earn the most money. I also thank Him for my amazing family and friends today who have helped make me who I am. I love you guys...you mean more to me than I could ever tell you!